Saturday, October 29, 2011

A Stressed out 10 year old

And it's not just because of the Rangers game. Yesterday I took Dart to the doctor to find out what is wrong with his neck. He says it's been bugging him since the start of school. He has a VERY high pain tolerance so it's just taken a while for it to really be bad enough that he wanted something done.

After meeting the resident, because we go through University of Missouri very rarely do we see our actual doctor we usually get students of some sort and I love it. I know if it is serious we will see our doctor and have before, but the students have to learn some how and what better way. They always tell me what they think and then bring in either our doctor or another doctor to make sure what they think is the case. We met the resident and she checked him out and said she thought it was stress related. His neck and half way down his back is VERY tight. She could hardly touch his neck and upper back without him grimacing. He tried acting like it didn't hurt, but she told him it was okay if it hurt that would help her diagnose the problems. from the base of his skull(so right around the hairline area, maybe up a little) to the middle of his back is basically one giant knot. When she told me where to touch I could feel it. I know I am that way as well, but he's 10 and shouldn't be like this. After she told me what she thought she went and got the doctor and he walked in and barely touched his neck and said "this poor kid is one giant knot." We were told to give him tylonel and advil for pain, heat in the form of hot shower or heating pad to help relax the muscle and massages. Darn wish I would be prescribed massages. I will be the one doing them, but still, to be told you need them!!

A lot of his stress he does to himself. He is very much my focus, goal driven, type A, wear his heart on his sleeve child. He is constantly setting goals in everything he does. From how many minutes he's going to read each week, to the levels he wants to achieve in his video games, to the number of times he's going to catch the ball without dropping it, he is ALWAYS setting goals and then working his butt off to achieve them. I don't want to discourage that at all! I love that he does that. He is always pushing himself to be faster, stronger, smarter, etc, but I do want him to relax and enjoy being a kid, so know I have to figure out a way to balance that. He also gets so attached to whatever he is doing that he puts his heart, soul, and head into it and so if it doesn't go his way he is crushed. And then there is the stress he puts himself through on things he has NO control over. After the Rangers lost to the Cardinals in game 7 he started talking about the free agents and who the Rangers would try and keep and who they would trade and what they would do next season and whether or not they would make the World Series next year. I mean seriously I could see the muscles in his neck tightening up! I love his passion and sports isn't the only area he gets that way with, it was just the most recent.

Any ideas on how to help him or books that might help? I'm open to anything. I don't want to discourage him from setting goals at all! He is a very focused kid who I honestly believe knows right now what he wants to do when he grows up. I want him to keep that focus, even if he does change his mind, but I also want him to be a kid still. He is VERY competitive and while I want him to keep that I also want to teach him to settle down some. It is so hard to be a parent when your child is hurting and you don't know how to fix it.

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