Sunday, March 28, 2010
and how she inspires me.....
Today would have been her 6th birthday. 6 years has gone by in a flash, it was 5 years ago January 18th that she passed away. She was born with a multitude of problems, the biggest being her brain and how it failed to develop. She had Holoprosencephaly, which in a nut shell means her brain failed to divide into the two spheres our brains have. She also had a cleft lip and palate. We were told she would most likely never come home from the hospital, she did. For almost 10 months she was a part of our lives. She didn't grow much, only 7 lbs when she passed away. She was one of the few babies I know who almost wore out her newborn clothes. She had a head full of hair like you can't believe and never lost any of it. She also had eyelashes that most women pay big bucks for. The curled so far around they almost touched her eyelids. Despite her problems she fought and fought like crazy. Most babies with her condition spend time in the hospital, lots of time. Once she came home from the hospital 2 weeks after she was born she went once for an MRI and we were only there for a few hours and then she went again the night she passed away. She managed to pull her feeding tube out of her stomach a couple of times. Thankfully I was taught well by the nurses how to put it back in. She also did this crazy back bend thing that drove her Papa CRAZY!! She would be sitting in her bouncy seat and the next thing you knew she was no longer sitting up but trying her best to score a perfect 10 in the back bend event.
Dakota was adored by her big brother who still struggles greatly with the loss of his "Kota Baby Ree". She had this giggle that started in her toes and let me tell you it was the funniest thing in the world to see. She would curl up her toes and make a noise and then with each little giggle more of her body would curl up, until she looked like a little hedgehog all curled up. This would usually come as a result of her big brother getting in trouble. Didn't bother him one bit that she laughed when he got in trouble, he worshiped her. If anyone ever said anything about what was wrong with her, most of the time just inquiring he was quick to let them know that was his baby sister. She taught all of us how to live and love. She taught me that while I love taking pictures I need to be in the pictures as well. I only have 3 of just she and I and only a handful more of she and I with someone else. I have to had over the camera and let someone else capture me. She inspires me to tell more meaningful stories in my scrapbooks, not just the 5 W's. Which is really odd since I love to write, why I had such a hard time getting passed the basics is still puzzling to me. She inspires me daily to go after everything I want in life and if it changes that's okay too, as long as I'm always pursuing. Kota girl, mommy misses you every single day, that will never change. Your big brother thinks of you all the time and even though he is growing up and doesn't always want to show how he feels when it comes to you emotion always wins out.